Thursday, January 31, 2013

Square one...

Well... It does not make for a very good weight loss blog if weight loss is in fact not what is going on...
I am almost back at square one in my weight loss journey. I have officially gained back all but 1 1/2 pounds of what I had lost back in November. Crap....

So.. because of this I am going to refocus.. I am looking at what I want to do and why I want to do it!

What I want to do..
*I want to not be the fat girl anymore!

*I want to feel beautiful. My husband tells me I am beautiful, but I do not feel it because of my body.. it feels like I just have a permanent fat suit on.. I never feel like I look good in anything and that is craptastic..

*I am always looking for a new adventure, so being of a healthy weight and "normal size" would be quite new for me!! I have always been the fat girl..

*I want to prove that I can do this! I want to prove to MYSELF that I can do it. I have failed so many times before.. and I want to prove that I can stick to a healthy lifestyle. Brownies are NOT going to defeat me this time!!!!!!

*I want to be healthy. I want to be able to go up steps without being winded. I want to not hurt all the time because I am out of shape and my muscles don't do what they are supposed to be able to do.. I am a nurse, and because I am out of shape, I am at a greater risk of getting hurt! I plan on being a nurse for about 45 more years so my body has to hold out!!!

*I want to enjoy being young!! I am 26 years old. I want to feel 26! Somedays I feel like I am 46 because I am not physically able to do everything that I want to do. Ick..

*I want to be healthy for when I have kids! I am married now.. and who knows when a children is going to come into the picture for me and Cory. I need to get myself healthy so that when I do get pregnant I give our little one a good start to life!

So.. How to accomplish this???

Well.. what has actually worked for me in the past is Sparkpeople. I was ROCKING it back in November.. but then came Thanksgiving.. and then came Christmas... I got so darn off track.. but I am going to get back into it!! NOW!!

*I am going to track EVERYTHING I eat.. even if it is not good.. No one actually looks at my tracking stats so I am just lying to myself if I don't count something.. and what good is that doing? I know what I did!!

*I am going to exercise for at least 10 minutes a day.. EVERYDAY.. even if I don't want to.. Even if its in the middle of 2 12 hour shifts. I can do 10 minutes if it kills me!!! It doesn't have to be hard.. just 10 minutes of activity.. IT CAN BE DONE!!

*I am going to drink more water!! I am pretty good most of the time when I am working.. but at home I am not at all good at getting the hydration I need.

*I am going to reward myself for accomplishments. When I lose 10 pounds I am going to get a new hairstyle. I am excited to set these up for myself.

I am going to keep journaling about how things are going also.. it helps me to get my thoughts out in writing.. I know nobody really reads this blog.. but it is helpful to have somewhere to write this down!!

Well.. to starting over! Wish me luck!!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Getting back into it

Well.. The holidays really got me off track this year. I was doing So well in my weight loss journey back in November, but Thanksgiving and Christmas really derailed me.. But I truly believe that I can get back into it and ROCK!! Wish me luck!!

Saturday, November 17, 2012


I finally feel like I have the ability to lose weight. In the past it has always felt like I just couldn't do it. But ever since I have joined spark people, I have confidence in myself! I feel like losing weight is something that I can actually do!

I realize that it is not going to be an overnight thing. It's going to take a long stinking time... But it can be done!! I know I sound like a broken record with that... But I have to keep telling myself at I can do it.

The other great thing about spark people is the community. There is so much support! I feel like people actually believe in me and think I can accomplish what I set out to do. Because of this, it makes me want to keep going and keep making the right choices. It is nice to have people to tell when you have lost weight or cam do something new fitness wise that you hadn't been able to.

I love tracking my food and seeing how many calories are in different things. It is nice seeing how many calories and fat and such are in things. It helps me make better decisions on what to eat later, since I have a tendency to eat the same things over and over...

I feel like I'm an ad for spark people right now... But I'm kinda excited about it!!!

More later as I accomplish more exciting things!!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Be the Turtle!

Well anyone who reads this,
I am BACK!!

I took a bit of a hiatus.. like 5 months.. oops!!
I was SO stinking busy getting ready for the craziness that was the wedding that this.. and weight loss for that matter.. was the last thing on my mind.. Not going to lie.. I ate whatever I wanted, and didn't do jack squat for about a month after the wedding too.. and wow.. that wasn't such a good idea for me! So here I go again trying to be the fit and healthy person that I know I can be!
At least I hope I can be!

As I have said before.. I have always been fat.. I'm not one of those people who are trying to lose weight so they can get back into their high school size.. Let me tell you, I am still in my high school size.. and that is in no way an accomplishment! ;) That being said.. if I lose the weight I want to lose.. it will be like I am a new person.. A person I have never been... I have always been the fat one. I am always the fattest of my friends. I want so badly to not be.. but what would that be like??

Being fat makes you somewhat invisible. People don't necessarily seem to notice you.. and that kinda stinks..
I remember when I was still "wild" and single, my friends and I would go out to bars and such..and I never got hit on.. Which trust me was not my aim.. but still... Being the fat one was tough! And my friends are adorable!! What would it be like to have people actually notice me and not look past me? AGAIN.. do not want to be hit on.. I have the most amazing Husband.. but its nice to know you look good! Also.. some people seem to think that because of your size you are less qualified to do things.. or are lazy!! I want to not have this going against me when people first see me! I can prove to them I'm lazy without them assuming ;) lol

Being fat also makes you different. You can't shop at the same stores as your friends.. I love hanging out with my friends.. and since I am in fact a lady.. that often involves shopping. I love going accessory shopping because that is a "no friend left behind" activity. It was always a bit depressing going to pick out clothes though.. I knew that I would not be able to find anything in the stores my peeps went to.. and if I did.. it usually had to be in the fatty section.. oh joy... Also.. its pretty great telling your friends what size you wear.. that is something I ALWAYS dreaded.  I can't wait to see what it feels like to be able to go to any store in the mall and know that things will fit! I seriously can't imagine this yet! It will be so nice to pick a store because they have cute things, not because they have big girl sizes!! :) I can't wait!!

Well. Here's to the journey..can't wait until I get to write about the milestones I pass!!
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Be the Turtle!

Just to share..
My goals..
Be under 275 by January 1st
Weigh under 250 by my birthday
Weigh less than 200 by my first wedding anniversary 9/22/13
Be at my goal weight by the time I'm 30 4/14/2016

Thursday, June 21, 2012

About time!

Well.. I am finally feeling good about what I am attempting to do to change my body. Weight watchers is going pretty well so far! I honestly love looking at stats, so tracking (when I remember to do it faithfully) is actually kind of fun for me! It is really nice to see what exactly I am putting into my body. When I am mindlessly eating, I know I eat FAR more than I should be. Being accountable, if to no one else than to myself really helps me make better food choices!!

Speaking of tracking... I got the coolest new fitness toy.. a fit bit!! It is the greatest little thing that I have encountered for a long while. I had a body media arm band last year that I wore pretty faithfully for awhile. It was great and tracked everything that I could have possibly wanted tracked! However, because I am in fact such a fatty, I do have fat arms, and the arm band really cut into them, making wearing it very uncomfotable. Also, if it could be seen, it looked really stupid.. not going to lie.. On top of the awkward looking-ness, there was a monthly subscription fee to have your data tracked. I was not excited about having to pay 12.95 a month just to see my statistics!  So.. the fitbit seems to do all that the bodymedia band does, but it can be kept in a pocket and it is TINY!! I love it! And it is just too cute.. its black and purple.. Which is my online running course's unofficial color for the summer! *I will get to that in a minute..* Plus, it does not require a monthly subscription! There are plans that you can upgrade to with more features, but I don't really need them, so am sticking to the free service. So far so good! I love seeing how many steps I have taken and how far I have walked over the course of the day. It is so fun to reach the goals that you set up!! This fitbit also shows how many flights of stairs that you have climbed and the amount of calories burned throughout the day. It even tracks sleep! I am amazed by this thing! :) Oh.. and it will tell you how many calories you can eat during the day based on your weight loss goals and activity! It is pretty amazing! The next workout gadget that I really want to get is the scale that this company makes. It tells you your weight, BMI, body fat and lean body mass percentage, and uploads it to your personal fitbit site.. It would make tracking my weight loss so much easier.. and I really need a better scale anyways! I just need to save up the $129 for it! ;)

So.. on to the next topic.. Running
As I mentioned before, I signed up for the up and running course online which teaches you how to run a full 5K at the end of the 8 week course. Every week there are 3 training runs that need to be completed, and I did my second run today! I am loving this course! I tried it last fall as I had mentioned and only ever completed one run. I now have officially completed twice as many runs as last time! I am going to conquer this thing. I HATE running.. but I am committed to completing the training, and hopefully hating it less! The course consists of 24 runs over 8 weeks, and I have ladies all over the world cheering me on! It is so cool having such a supportive online community and knowing that there are women all over doing this with me! I love it!!

Another motivation to finish the course is the fact that I signed up for the mud chug in August.  The mud chug is a mud and obstacle filled race that looks really tough, but pretty damn amazing! I am going to do it with some peeps from my old nursing unit and my new nursing unit. I am so excited! :) I want to prove that I can do it!! And at the end of the race you get a cool medal and a free beer! It is going to be great!

Oh.. and I have decided to commit to FXB starting with the next 10 week class. I need to get in shape. I really want to look beautiful at my wedding and feel beautiful and confident. I know that I will not feel as beautiful as I should if I still am the size I am on my wedding day. I can do it though.. and I will! I will lose the weight, and become more toned and stronger. Plus.. FXB will definitely help with doing the obstacles in the mud chug! ;) 

So anyways.. after all that lets get down to the nitty-gritty...
Weight 279.4-down a bit! :)
Chest  48
Waist  43
Hips    56
Arm    16.6
Thigh   29.5

Well.. I definitely have a long way to go.. but as they say.. slow and steady wins the race! Be the turtle! ;)

Saturday, June 16, 2012


Well.. I have started making some positive changes in my life! YAY!
I started up weight watchers, and I have found that having to write down what I eat really helps out with making better choices. If I know that I have to write everything down and see it later, it is so much easier to choose a piece of fruit over a brownie. I think I may even have some one.. like the Nels.. look at my logs.. I don't think he will honestly care.. but if I know someone else is seeing what I eat I will try harder to eat well! I've actually even lost some weight already! I am going to wait until Monday to do my weigh in and measurements so I give myself a full week of WW before I measure. Next thing to do is increase my activity!

As it says on the side of the page there.. I am going to start training with up and running online next week. I tried it last fall but stopped after one run.. I believe it was because of my sciatica.. but I am planning on seeing it through this time. I have decided that I am going to stop letting things beat me... I let this beat me last fall.. so I am going to conquer it this time around! :)

I have 3 weeks until FXB starts its new 10 week class, so I am going to focus on this.. running 3x's a week, and hopefully getting to the strength training classes at least once a week until then. I am going to try and hit up FXB hard when it starts the new 10 week. My bestie JK started in January with me.. and has done A LOT better than I have. I so want to be able to keep up with her. I need to get my behind in gear and do it.. I will work on that when the time comes.

Lets do this!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


So.. I signed up for the up and running online class on Sunday. I attempted to complete this last fall.. but I was in my period of change so was not in the right frame of mind to complete it.. at least that is what I am telling myself! :)

I plan on showing myself that I can actually finish something.. I SUCK at completing things.. fitness wise and I need to show that this will not beat me. At the end of this course the plan is to be able to run a full 5k race. I really want to be able to do this... There is actually a really fun looking race called the Mud chug that I would love to be able to do!

Also.. I have the secret dream of being a roller derby girl.. (not so secret anymore I suppose!) and there is no way that I could do it in my current state of fitness.

On another note... I also started weight watchers yesterday, and so far it is going well.. after a day! I am hoping that these new additions in my life will bring about lasting changes!!

It is a little over 3 months to the wedding.. crunch time! So I need to make it my job to make myself into a beautiful bride!

Here we go with the least fun things...

Weight 283.6
Hips: 55
Waist: 45
Chest: 49
Thigh: 32
Upper arm: 16.5

Looking forward to these numbers shrinking soon!

More soon!